Touching on Tifa

It's not easy being Tifa, and if not for a friendly phone call, the poor gal wouldn't even be in the game. Final Fantasy VII character designer Tetsuya Nomura called up director Yoshinori Kitase one Sunday evening with a radical idea: "Let's just kill Aerith."

Nomura's idea began as a simple love triangle and quickly grew to include one of the leading ladies being offed to give the other the upper hand in the relationship. As a character closely tied to both the planet and Sephiroth himself, Aerith was a natural candidate for the shishkabob treatment.

While she could have easily been tossed into the mix as a half-assed afterthought, the character of Tifa is key to the Final Fantasy VII plotline, ultimately salvaging Cloud from the depths of his own neuroses after falling into the Lifestream. Plus, she's got mad rack.

Which brings us to Tifa's problem. Specifically, being bent in every conceivable sexual position (and some new ones) by fan artists and authors. You might argue that it's nobody's fault but Nomura's -- after all, he gave her the super-stretch legs, ultra-short shorts, and almost comical chest -- but sometimes it's a lot more fun just to hate fanboys. Regardless, the fact remains that Tifa looks bitchin' in a sombrero, and is in fact the only character bold enough to don one.