The Dirty, Dirty World of
Final Fantasy VII

Earlier we talked about the FFVII fanbase and its creative contributions, mentioning the onslaught of dirty fanart. It's the part of fandom where a simple crush on a character can devolve into a perverse obsession, as one tries their best to draw Cloud's "fluids" as best they can with regards to the laws of physics, or simply decide how many motion lines to draw around Tifa's gyrating body.

The men in the game usually aren't as violated as badly as the girls, as the international female "yaoi" collective prefer to illustrate more sensitive, loving scenes. Not that buttsex is entirely out of the question; Barret is a rough guy, after all.

Yet what is usually a 13 year-old trying to draw a peepee is a money-making business in Japan, where adult doujinshi (fanzines) are pumped -- er, produced faster than the games take to develop. So as one quickly discovers, if there's a game out, it has porn based on it (though we have yet to spot any Gitaroo Man material).

In FFVII's case, the mass of art that was coming in after its release has since settled, with artists pretty much relegating themselves to Tifa these days since she's just so damn slutty. Maybe Advent Children will light the torch once more. Who are we kidding, it probably already has.

Every modern Final Fantasy has had their turn in the porn world, and the series will no doubt live on in the realm of smut long after it's dead and buried. Depending on how lonely you are, that could be very good news indeed.